Avoiding Blank Statements and Drawing Inferences from Evidence

I. A “blank statement” is a statement that is overly general and adds little to the writer’s point.

Original: In Romeo and Juliet, the Friar and the Nurse appear to be quite similar. They both meddle in the lives of the young people they care for and inadvertently contribute to the tragedy.

The first part sentence above identifies two specific characters, but beyond that the sentence says very little.

Revised: The Friar and the Nurse both meddle in the lives of the young people they care for and inadvertently contribute to the tragedy.

II. Be an editor. Eliminate the blank statements in the following sentences and make the writing more concise.

1. Romeo’s actions doom him. The scene when he kills Tybalt, is important. It represents how he sets into motion a series of events that ultimately ends in tragedy.

2. Juliet returns to the balcony and boldly suggests marriage. This is a telling moment for Juliet. On the surface the decision may seem rash, but she is actually quite clever. In the short time she has been away, she has sorted through her options and made the deliberate choice to marry handsome, witty Romeo as opposed to being paired with dull, cloying Paris.

III. Write a new first line for this paragraph on Capulet

Capulet’s decision to marry Juliet to Paris without her consent is really big. When he says, “ Will you be ready? Do you like this haste?” he contradicts his earlier opinion that Juliet is too young to wed. Also, he is clearly unaware that haste has already created chaos in his daughter’s life (3.4.23).

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IV. Drawing Inferences

Notice how the analysis in the previous paragraph elaborates upon idea of haste suggested in the quotation. In other words, the quotation—the argument’s evidence—acts as a springboard for deeper analysis. Your improved topic sentence may have asserted that Capulet’s decision is foolish, but the analysis at the end of the statement develops that idea and argues more specifically that his character is both impulsive and dangerous.

With this idea in mind, finish the following paragraph. Keep the topic in mind. Examine the quotation for an analytical angle. Try to draw a logical conclusion.

Act 3, Scene 4 is short, but it provides a profound glimpse into the lives of women. Juliet has already proven herself to be a mature and loyal young woman. However, her father’s desire to marry her off and his belief that “she will be ruled/In all respects by [him]”…

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